Learning to Shine Alongside the Pain

Ela Ken Dror’s son, Jonathan, was murdered at the Nova festival on October 7. She shares with us how she lives with the devastating loss, and how volunteering at WIZO helps her shine again.

Jonathan (Johnny) Ken Dror, 28, spent the morning of October 7 at the Nova festival in Kibbutz Reim with his partner, Yael Rozman, 26. Shortly after the terrible news of the Hamas terrorists’ massacre became known, the two were murdered while trying to escape the terrible inferno. Ela Ken Dror, Johnny’s mother, has since worked to commemorate him by knitting octopuses, which her son especially loved, talks about him in lectures, and volunteers at WIZO Hod Hasharon, which has served as a warm home for her during the difficult period since that morning. Ela was a guest on our WIZO podcast recently (link to listen below), and she shared her story.

The loss changed her life completely, but she has chosen to continue doing the things she loves most, such as volunteering at WIZO, and living life to the fullest.

Saturday, October 7

“We didn’t know he was at the party, he didn’t announce it, a 28-year-old doesn’t announce all his plans to his parents,” Ela said. “I woke up from the sirens and called him to go into the bomb shelter. In the meantime, I turn on the TV and see what I see. In a great irony, I told my husband, ‘We have to call the police and the army and help these people.’ At 6:30 the missiles started, and at 7:38 my son was no longer alive. They were among the first, and in fact I was sitting there all day Saturday and didn’t know that he’s been gone for hours. At 8:30 in the morning, a friend of my husband’s calls and tells him that his daughter saw Jonathan at the party and that’s where all the action started. At 6:30 in the evening, a friend who was with them in the car and survived calls and says that he saw Jonathan for the last time in the morning.

From that moment on, as far as we were concerned, he was considered missing. In my gut, I knew that he no longer existed. I don’t know how to explain it. But you cling to the hope and faith that he will emerge from some bush or ditch, he was a child who knew how to read situations, knew how to get by. We quickly realized that something had happened to him, but like us and like everyone else, everything was in chaos, no one gave us answers.”

The Dreaded Knock on the Door

After long hours of tension, Ela received the terrible news.

“On Monday, Yael’s parents received the news of her death, and on Tuesday we buried her. I realized that they were together and hadn’t separated, and that the news would soon reach us as well. On Friday, at 3 in the morning, four soldiers arrived and knocked on the door. I said that I didn’t want to see them and that they should leave. My husband and I stood in front of them and didn’t say a single word. We didn’t scream, we didn’t cry, we didn’t ask questions. We were in total shock. That was the hardest hour of my life. We waited until 6 in the morning, a reasonable time to inform our daughters. One daughter was in the advanced months of pregnancy and we were very scared for her. We had held on to the great hope that he had been kidnapped, and then came the worst possible news for a family, for a mother, to hear that her son had been murdered. It’s impossible to describe it.”

Jonathan, “Johnny”

“Jonathan was a free spirit,” she said painfully. “It doesn’t comfort me, but it calms me down in some way that he devoured life. The amount of experiences he had, an 80-year-old doesn’t have them. He loved parties and music and good food, he loved dancing, and he could be at three parties on the same day. For him, it was freedom and love. Johnny was a very witty and funny boy, the strangest things always happened to him and he always managed to get out of all situations. His most beautiful trait – that he had a big and giving heart, he helped so many people. He always gathered around him the lost souls, all those who were on the margins, he always made sure to bring to the center.”

“I wouldn’t give up volunteering for any fortune in the world”

Despite the terrible blow, Ela Ken Dror is clinging to life. She volunteers at WIZO Hod Hasharon, and talks about her son and the good he brought to the world. “The first thing I did after the month-long mourning, was take off my mourner’s shroud, get up and go to my volunteering,” she said. Ela volunteers once a week running a social group for elderly women and once a week at the secondhand clothing store, the WIZO Bigudit. “I see these strong women, 90 years old, coming to the club dressed, with makeup on, and not giving up on a minute of life. I tell myself that if they make such an effort, I have only something to learn from it.  They are the ones who gave me strength. My second family through all this pain was WIZO — the volunteers I work with visited, they wept with me, laughed with me, brought us food, hugged us, kissed us, wrapped us with love. I wouldn’t give up volunteering for any fortune in the world.”

“I am convinced that if Johnny is looking down at me, he is smiling and saying, ‘Mom, I left you an unwritten will – to live life, to devour it, to love from your gut, to give from the heart,” she said. “This is a big challenge for me. I tell myself that I had a more than perfect family, but now it is also perfect, only different. I believe that he gives me the strength to get up on my feet and do what I do.  Johnny was a happy child, we should be like that too. We learned from his death that life is short, that we should take advantage of it every day and shine.”

• To listen to the entire podcast (Hebrew), click here: 103fm

(photos courtesy of 103fm and WIZO Israel Facebook)