More Than a Celebration: WIZO Shelter Holds Its First Bar Mitzvah

Four months after arriving at a WIZO shelter, one family celebrated an important Jewish milestone and made WIZO shelter history.

This month, a boy living in a WIZO shelter celebrated his Bar Mitzvah surrounded by his mother, siblings and a community that has come to love them.

It was a deeply joyful occasion for the family and the first Bar Mitzvah ever celebrated for a child living in a WIZO shelter.

The family arrived at the shelter four months ago, seeking safety from domestic violence. In that relatively short time, the mother and her children have become beloved by the shelter’s residents, staff and volunteers.

Until recently, however, the shelter could not accommodate mothers arriving with adolescent children. Israeli welfare regulations require teenagers to have living arrangements suited to their age, privacy and needs. Without designated facilities, a mother with both younger and adolescent children could face an impossible choice when seeking protection.

Earlier this year, WIZO and Israel’s Ministry of Welfare and Social Affairs opened two dedicated family apartments within the shelter. The additional bedrooms and personal space now allow mothers to enter with their adolescent sons and daughters and remain together as a family.

Four months after one of the first families moved in, the apartments made another important moment possible.

Giving Teenagers What They Deserve

“Adolescents who arrive at a shelter already feel somewhat different,” explained Sarita Zandberg, the shelter’s director. “They are older, while most of the children here are young. It is extremely important to us that they receive everything they deserve.”

Teenagers entering a shelter are removed from their familiar surroundings and separated from their friends. For safety reasons, they may no longer be able to attend their friends’ celebrations or invite those friends to their own. At an age when belonging is particularly important, that separation can intensify their sense of being different.

“That is why it was so important to us to create a respectful and meaningful event for a child living in the shelter,” Sarita said.

A Celebration Created With the Family

The shelter team sat with the boy and his mother to understand what mattered to them and what kind of celebration they wanted. Every element was planned together, while taking the shelter’s privacy and security requirements into consideration.

The Jewish traditions surrounding the milestone were especially important to the family. The shelter arranged for someone to prepare the boy and teach him about becoming Bar Mitzvah, including the significance of laying tefillin and being called to the Torah.

On Shabbat, he celebrated his aliyah to the Torah at a synagogue near the shelter.

The party was held on a separate day. His mother and siblings were joined by the shelter team, volunteers and their children, all of whom had come to know and care for the family during their time at the shelter.

The gathering was intentionally kept intimate.

“We did not want it to become a WIZO event,” Sarita explained. “It needed to remain the child’s event, one that we had the privilege of making possible.”

A Day Filled With Joy

The shelter team wanted the whole family to experience the excitement of preparing for such an important occasion. The boy received a new suit, while his siblings were each given new clothes for the celebration.

The shelter was decorated for the party, and a festive meal, music, dancing, gifts and activities created a joyful atmosphere for the family and their guests.

“There were so many tears of emotion and so much happiness,” Sarita recalled. “His mother spoke, I spoke and he also said a few words. It was joyful, moving and incredibly special.”

For his mother, the celebration was an opportunity to give her son a meaningful experience during an extraordinarily difficult period in their lives. For the boy, it meant marking his Bar Mitzvah with pride, surrounded by people who cared about him.

The Beginning of a New Tradition

With teenagers now able to live safely at the shelter, Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebrations can become part of shelter life. The team is already preparing for an upcoming Bat Mitzvah, which will be planned around the wishes and traditions of that family.

“When there are adolescents, there are Bar Mitzvahs and Bat Mitzvahs,” Sarita said. “Each celebration will be different because every one will be created for the family at its centre.”

A shelter must first provide protection, but safety also creates the space for life to continue. It allows children to grow, families to preserve their traditions and mothers to create joyful memories with their children.

Sometimes that means providing a private bedroom where a teenager can feel secure and respected. Sometimes it means a mother knowing that seeking protection will not separate her family.

And sometimes, it means a new suit, an aliyah to the Torah and a celebration filled with music, dancing and tears of joy, all centred around one boy and the milestone he deserved to celebrate.